Monday, September 08, 2008

...JUST one more...BUT JUST ONE!

I remember not wanting more kids. I thought to myself....." people who have big families are CRAZY!!!" My husband comes from a family of 6. He has 1 sister and 2 brothers. Since the day I met him, I knew he wanted a big family. But NOT ME!!!! I grew up with one sister BETH and she was adopted when I was 10 yrs old. It was great having a sister, but I soon realized, the more people in the family the less you get a Christmas. hahhaha
In the beginning of our marriage I really did want a son. I had never had a brother and thought how nice it would be to raise a little boy. So after 2 yrs with my husband we tried and right off we had a little boy. Soon after he was born my husband would say... " I WANT MORE KIDS" ummm lets talk about it in 5 yrs. My thought process was not to have 2 in daycare. But soon those 5 yrs flew by and he was asking...when would we have more kids. He loved being a dad and wanted to fill the house up with the pitter patter of little feet. BUT..... NOT ME!
Soon it became a huge problem in our relationship, me not wanting more kids ( why would I? I had a boy and a girl already) and Brian wanting to fill the house up.
So at the age of 33, I agreed ...JUST one more. JUST ONE!!! I thought if we had a girl together he would feel complete and I could turn my uterus OFF! But as God's hands would have it.. I became pregnant with TWINS! I remember the doctor telling me it was for sure twins and they had strong heartbeats. I about broke in to tears, as my husband exploded with joy. I thought OMG, 2 babies....I will pull my hair out. I had only agreed to ONE MORE. Call it the buy one get one free or 2 for one special.
My pregnancy was HARD...So hard that I cried almost every day and thought to myself. WHAT DID I DO???? But I just wanted to post I watch my babies grow and grow up fast. That I love them more now than ever. Even with out sleep at night...even with out clean clothes ( because I always have some sort of spit up on my shirt) ...even if I can't seem to keep the house in order. I love them with all my heart and soul. I want to almost cry at how fast they have grown up in the past 3 months. I make sure to fill my days up with TONS OF SWEET KISSES. Lots of little fingers grabbing mine so tight. Petting their sweet soft skin a zillion times in hopes that I don't forget how it feels. I light up at the sight of them smiling back at me all threw my day. Who could ever be sad or down when you have that face looking back at you with a great big grin plastered from ear to ear? I never in a million years thought I would say this... But I am going to miss them being babies. Time goes by way to fast and they are just way too sweet.
I wondered why GOD gave me these great big hips later in life... it was to carry the load of 2 sweet babies. Okay.... now give me my hot body back, GOD! HAHHAHAH

So when the world is quiet and the day is slow... I want you to know, deep down matter how much I never wanted it.... I AM THANKFUL and BLESSED!

Now for the shocker... MY HUSBAND WANTS MORE KIDS...
Oh he is so SOL... for real its not going to happen and I mean it this time. 2 boys, 2 girls and a body gone to hell in hand basket. IM DONE! Im going to leave it all for his next wife to fill his house with kids. He can make sure to take his 3 with him when he leaves.

So Christy, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Im not having anymore. But I do enjoy the ones I do have. Besides Shelby's back talk and rolling of the eyes, Tristan's nagging " can I ?" NOOOO " well can I now?" ughhh and most of all MY GOD PEOPLE I HAVE TWINS>>> thats not double the work thats 10 million times the work. Plus Kagan and Kaibre will grow up to be Shelby and Tristan!

SO when people say " are these your first" My my noooooooooooooo But they are my LAST"
I would not be sad at all if I won the lottery and could get a nanny. hahhaha

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